Where Do I Begin?
by Hello-Violet
Summary: After Violet's baby trauma and Dell's terrifying loss of Heather, they both learn to help each other cope and try to bring themselves back to the people they once were before everything began.
1. Chapter 1

Two Months After Violet's Attack

Running a hand over her stomach, Violet bit her lips, feeling the scars through her thin fabric shirt. It should have been as simple as not touching her stomach but knowing the scars were there, she couldn't help but touch and once she felt the risen skin, all the images flooded back into her mind from the moment Katie stabbed her with the syringe, to the moment she walked out with Violet's baby as Violet lay surrounded by an enormous pool of blood.

Once upon a time Alan leaving her and marrying a young woman was her biggest dilemma. Eventually it turned into the competition between Pete and Sheldon. Leaning against the desk, Violet's gaze locked to world beyond the window of her office as she wiped the tears away with her thumb. She would give anything to go back in time and deal with those problems. Anything at all just to be able to have one of those problems where she'd be able to lie on the couch in her office like a patient of hers would and in her chair sat Cooper and he'd just sit there and listen to her, in the end giving her the best advice he could offer. At the end of all their conversations, she'd be able to smile and laugh and push her worries aside for a little while.

Though at the time she considered that a stressful life, she looked back now and that was the happiest point of her life. Addison had just come to L.A. and quickly weaved her way into the tight knit group of friends that Violet thought to be her family. Regardless of all the stressful situations she really didn't have a legitimate reason to distrust anyone or hate her life by any means. God how things changed.

She hated her life now. Violet Turner, the once optimistic 'everyone will find their happy ending,' Violet Turner hated her life. How could you blame her though? Helping people was something she was good at. No, not just good, she was amazing. And she thought she was helping Katie get through the miscarriage. She noticed her patient wasn't taking her medicine and she wasn't as concerned as Pete and Sheldon were and that really seemed to bite her in the ass; winding up getting gutted like a pig so Katie could steal her baby, leaving Violet to die.

She knew realistically the reason she and her baby were still alive was Addison. But theoretically she wondered why she survived that incident. When she felt herself coming closer and closer to losing consciousness, the first thing she did was silently pray that her son would be okay. After that, she hoped her friends would be alright and that they would be able to survive the trauma, especially Pete, following her death. And then she prayed to die just so all the pain could no longer agonize her.

But she woke up. She woke up in a hospital bed, paler than she ever thought possible for someone to be and she was in so much pain that no amount of drugs would ever be able to counteract what she felt.

The scare of never seeing her son again diminished as Pete brought her over to her bed and set him by her side. With Pete and Lucas by her side, she looked around and saw that everyone she cared about was surrounding her. They all looked so relieved, yet so agonized as she had felt, but for another reason. She agonized because she woke up. Once she woke up she knew that she had such a long road ahead of her before she could even put the slightest dent into recovery.

Hearing an unexpected knock on the door, Violet jumped where she stood, though not bothering to turn around. Whoever it was would say what they had to whether or not they saw her face. She didn't want anyone to see her crying.

"Violet," Pete's voice called.

She bit her lip without a word. Lately they haven't had a friendly conversation. It's been nothing but fighting about Lucas between the two of them. He wanted her in their son's life. She couldn't do it.

Once he realized she wasn't going to say anything, he continued. "Can you do me a favor and watch Lucas?"

Hearing him ask the one thing he's been trying to get her to do for weeks now, she trembled as tears continued to trail down her cheeks. After so many times of being asked and after so many times of fighting over it she kind of thought he'd get the hint by now.

"Are you crying?" his voice softened. She heard him take a couple steps forward.

"Where is he?"

"He's with Naomi," he told her, stopping just a couple inches behind her. She felt his hand against her back. Jumping at his touch, she closed her eyes, trying to steady her breathing, hoping that she could just stop crying. Lately she's done so much crying and she felt like everyone was getting annoyed with her, regardless of what they told her.

"Can he stay with Naomi?" she looked over her shoulder, her swollen eyes staring back into his. "I know you're going to get pissed, but Pete, I'm trying," she could see the look in Pete's eyes and surprisingly enough, he didn't hold that angered look she's gotten so used to. He was really listening to her, running a hand up and down her back soothingly. This is the most he's touched her since the accident. This was the most anyone's touched her since the accident. "I'm trying to do the best I can. I want to be a good mother Pete, I do, and this is me being a good mother."

He moved in a little closer, continuing to move his hand up and down her back. "You think it's best that you stay away?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Right now, yes, I do. I'm a danger to myself at this point, I really am. I shouldn't be around a baby. Not right now."

"You're not a danger to anyone Vi."

Violet shook her head, her eyes to the ground. "I am. I can't feel. I can't tell if I'm ever happy, sad, scared, anything. I can't feel. It's like I'm dead inside Pete. I want to be a good mother, but this is me being a good mother right now," Finally, she looked up, turning her body to face Pete's. "This isn't permanent. I'm going to be a better mom one day. I'm going to have an actual relationship with my son, but not now. I can't right now. I'm sorry Pete."

He reached out for her again, and she jerked away, looking up at him apologetically before walking past him and out toward the main desk.

When she reached it, she looked up to find Dell.

"Hey," he offered his usual, cheerful smile. "Good morning."

When he said 'good morning,' she shook her head.

"No?" raised a brow. "What's wrong?"

"I just left my own office to avoid Pete," she thought out loud, hardly aware of the fact that Dell was just a couple feet away. "Pete asked me to watch my own son and I ran out of my own office. Great. So I'll just hang out in the bathroom or something. He won't follow me there, right? No, probably not."

She went to walk off, but Dell reached out and grabbed her by the arm. She jumped; her reactions to being touched still weren't the greatest. When he saw the surprised look on her face, he ran a hand up her arm and gently pulled her into a hug. "You're not hiding in the bathroom," he told her softly as he held onto her. She didn't hug him back, though she didn't pull away from him, so he continued to hold onto her, knowing that she probably needed someone to comfort her. "If you can't get back into your office, come with me to mine. Does that sound good?"

He looked down to see her shrug her shoulders. Once he realized she wasn't going to actually speak, he faked a smile. "Awesome enthusiasm, let's go," when he saw the smile pull from her lips, he grinned down at her and led her over to his office.

Closing the door behind them, Dell watched as Violet just stood there silently. "You can sit, you know?" he watched as once again, she shrugged her shoulders. He hated to see her like this. He knew everyone was trying to be patient with her, though he felt as though he was more patient than anyone else, being as compassionate of a person as Dell was.

He watched as her swollen eyes began to well up with fresh tears. Quickly, he walked over to her and pulled her into another hug. This time he didn't say a thing. He just stood there with her in his arms to let her know she wasn't alone.


	2. Chapter 2

One Month After Dell's Incident 

Slumped in the chair behind the desk, Dell stared off as he held a pen in his hand, clicking it every couple of seconds, the sound of it annoying him, yet he couldn't seem to stop. It kept him occupied even though it was such a simple thing, it kept him from breaking down.

Today marked one month from the day Heather made the biggest mistake of her life. The two married and though she played her games and said she was clean and was done with drugs for good, Dell knew she was lying, but he wanted so badly to believe she was telling the truth. They had a child together and Betsey was happy to see her parents getting along and together for the first time since she could probably remember. He wanted them to be a family.

Heather had to ruin it. She was using again and he ignored it. Before they were back together, he was so hard on her about her drug abuse, yet when he needed to get her to stop more than ever, he didn't, and now she was dead.

He began to click the pen faster as he thought about it. It's been one month since Heather decided to cook meth just a room away from Betsey. Dell left for work and just as he was about to drive off, he had the scare of his life. The houses blew up.

As he sat there, tears streaming down his face, he could see the images in his mind of that day, playing clear as day. Having to run inside the burning house, barely able to tell the rooms apart from another, and if it weren't for the coughs and cried of Betsey, he probably wouldn't have been able to find her. He got her on the front lawn and ran back in for Heather. By the time the fire department came, he was just getting out with a battered Heather and Betsey was unconscious on the front lawn.

When he heard that Heather's chance of survival was so low and the fact that she was cooking meth, he wanted her to die that very instant. He even went out of his way to go to her room and tell her himself that he wanted her to die a long, painful and agonizing death. And she did. She didn't get to see Betsey before she died, and she was begging to see her daughter and to talk to Dell.

Betsey was furious with Dell for a while. It wasn't up until recently that they started bonding like they had before the incident, but he knew she was still hurting. Sure as hell, he was.

"Hey," Dell heard a familiar, soft voice. He looked up to find Violet standing in the doorway. When she saw the tears in her eyes, she immediately closed the door behind her and walked over to him. Without a word, she sat on his desk in front of him and leaned over, pulling him into a hug.

He reached up and wrapped his arms around her waist, leaning his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry," he whispered softly.

"Sorry?" she looked him in the eyes, confused. "What are you sorry for?"

"For being such a mess lately."

"You are ridiculous William Dell Parker," She told him with a soft grin, running a hand through his hair to soothe him. "You had something terrible happen to you, it's okay to be a bit messed up. And apologizing to me is probably the funniest joke ever seeing how I'm such a mess. Don't worry, you're in good company."

Dell couldn't help but smile even the weakest smile at Violet's comment. "You're not a mess Violet, don't even say that."

"You see how messed up I am?" Violet asked with a very soft chuckle. "I came here to make you feel better, and here you are trying to help me. Stop it."

He laughed softly as he reached a hand up to brush his fingers through Violet's hair. "No, I won't. If"

"Dell, honey, just shut up then," she teased.

"Come here," he pulled her off the desk and onto his lap so he could hold her. He needed the comfort of someone so badly and he and Violet were getting to be real close. They were always pretty close because both of their pasts were similar in many ways, but now they were getting closer than ever.

Violet began to wipe his tears away with her thumb. "So do you want to talk about it?" she asked curiously.

With a sigh, he leaned his forehead back against hers as she wiped his tears away. "It's Betsey, she didn't want to go to school today because it's a month since Heather died and I understand, but I had to make her go."

"I know you feel bad Dell, but you did what you had to do," she assured him.

"I know, but I feel bad. I don't want her to think I'm this terrible person for making her go. She finally forgave me for not letting her see Heather before she died and I just don't want her to be mad."

"Don't worry," as she finished wiping his tears away, she moved her hand down to rest it against his chest. "Betsey loves you Dell and that's not going to change. You've been everything to that girl even before this all happened. She's not going to turn on you; she just didn't know how to handle stress. She's doing really well though. You've told me about it and so has Naomi, so you don't need to worry."

Instead of doubting himself, he just nodded his head, knowing that Violet wouldn't dare let him doubt himself and she was probably right. He and Betsey have been doing real well.

"Are you upset about Heather's death?" she finally asked.

Dell shrugged his shoulders. "This might sound terrible, but if she wasn't the mother of my child and just some crazed ex girlfriend of mine, I wouldn't have cared. She was trouble. She always said she was clean and improving her life, but she never stuck with it. She never actually wanted to get better. I feel like she got what she deserved. She died from cooking meth, good for her, but the fact that Betsey was in there, that crossed the line. Although because of that, she did deserve to die."

Violet knew there was so much anger within him and she couldn't blame him. His daughter was forced into such a harmful environment because of her own mother and Dell wanted to be there at all times to protect Betsey.

"But you did marry her," she pointed out. "You told us all that you loved her. Did you really?"

"Don't tell anyone," he demanded before going on. "Everyone was right. It was all for Betsey. I knew I loved Heather before and I felt that if we got back together and if she got clean that maybe I would be able to love her again, but I never actually got to that point. Now I hate her more than I ever thought possible."

Although Dell said it with a straight face and Violet knew that he probably meant it, a part of her was hoping that he cared more about Heather deep down inside. Aside from Betsey, no one else was really mourning her death and she felt bad. Than again, Heather's done so much wrong to Dell in the past that she didn't even bother to say anything else about her. He already had it hard enough at the moment.

"Well don't worry," she told him softly as she held his face between her hands. "You have me," she needed him to know that he wasn't alone. Seeing that sad look in his eyes killed her. He was normally the happiest person. "And I'm not going anywhere."

Leaning in closer, Violet placed a friendly kiss against Dell's lips. Breaking from it, she looked into his eyes, seeing him smile very weakly. She returned the smile. "Don't stop smiling," she told him, watching as his smile grew bigger, she did as well, finding his smile contagious as ever.


	3. Chapter 3

Lying back on the couch, Violet stared up at the ceiling in her leopard snuggie. She didn't have any plans on seeing anyone, so it really didn't matter what she looked like. Her makeup was washed off and her glasses were on. She was dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants and a tight fitting white shirt. She held the phone to her ear, waiting for an answer.

"Hello?"

"Cooper," she was so happy he actually answered. Some days he was so busy with Charlotte that they didn't get to talk, which was something she wasn't used to. Her and Cooper used to spend unnecessary amounts of time with each other to the point where everyone thought they were a married couple. That's just the way they were. They've always been that way and really hoped that things could go back to that. If not with the obsessive, clingy attached by the hip thing; at least where they were able to talk about everything. She missed having someone to talk to about everything. "Do you have time?"

"Well I answered didn't I?" he asked, and she could tell he was teasing her. She grinned softly, remembering how they used to joke.

"No seriously, do you have time?" she needed to talk to him. Even though it's been a while since they've really been able to talk, the gap of time would never keep them from going back to their old selves when it came to one another.

"This is serious isn't it?" he asked, his tone more serious, more cautious. "Yeah I have time. What's going on?"

She lay silently for a couple seconds, trying to think of the right thing to say, but there really didn't seem to be a right way to express what she had going on in her head at the moment. "I did something today and I just really don't know if I should have."

"Does this involve someone I know?" he asked curiously.

"Yeah, it does."

"Please don't tell me it's my father," he joked. He would never let her live down the fact that she had slept with Addison's father. Never.

Violet bit her lip, trying not to laugh because she knew that would just be giving Cooper exactly what he wanted. If they joked too much, she wouldn't be able to get the advice she needed. Hell, she didn't even know if she could explain everything enough for advice. If anything, she just needed to vent. "No, I did not sleep with your father, nor did I sleep with anyone else's."

"Okay, just checking. Now seriously, what's going?" He did sound concerned, which she was happy to know that he was because he wouldn't get off the phone now, even if his life depended on it. He was that great of a friend.

"I didn't sleep with anyone," she started. "I kissed someone today."

"Okay, you kissed someone. What kind of kiss was it?"

"A friendly kiss," she knew that sounded pitiful, so she quickly decided to elaborate. "I mean it was supposed to be friendly. And even though it was real quick, I've been thinking about it all day. Is that crazy?"

He laughed softly. "Well you're queen of crazy Vi. Kidding, kidding. So this kiss; it was quick, and it was meant to be innocent but it wasn't?"

"Right," he seemed to get what she meant, thankfully. "I don't know what to do Coop."

"Okay, well do you want to tell me who this lucky guy is?" he asked both to help her, but also because just as she is, he happens to be extremely nosy.

She wanted to tell him so badly, but she couldn't do it. She just couldn't. Not yet at least. Especially seeing how it was supposed to be a friendly kiss and to Dell, it probably was nothing but a friendly kiss. "I can't right now. I will eventually, I promise, but I'm just so confused right now, I couldn't possibly give a name. That would change everything."

"So this is someone I know."

"Yeah, it is."

"Pete?" he asked after a couple seconds. "Tell me you're getting feelings for Pete again?"

It wasn't until right then she realized Pete would lose it if he found out she had a school girl crush on Dell. That would definitely cause a lot of problems.

Yet she couldn't take the easy way out and say it was Pete. If she lied, she knew Cooper would end up spilling and Pete would be chasing her tail in seconds.

"No, it's not Pete," she told him softly.

"Sheldon?"

"No."

"But I do know them?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "You might," this time around she told him that he might just to throw him off a little. There were only so many guys he could go through, though she was sure he'd never expect her to be calling him confused about Dell. No one would expect that.

"Oh, okay, well what is it about this kiss that has you so confused?"

"Well," she tried to think of a way to explain. "After I kissed him, I wanted to do it again, but I held myself back. He was vulnerable. We both were and I just couldn't do that. I wanted to kiss him with so much more than I gave him in that first kiss. But I just couldn't because like I said, we were vulnerable and I didn't want to push."

There was so much more she wanted to say, but the doorbell rang. She jumped a little before getting up and walking over to the door. She looked through the peep hole, paranoid to answer a door now since the attack. "Umm Cooper, I'll call you back."

"But I want to hear more about this kiss."

"Later." She told him as she hung up the phone and looked around for a place to put it. She had her coat hanging on a hook. Too lazy to walk back into the living room, she shoved the house phone into her coat pocket.

She ran a hand through her curly hair before unlocking the locks and opening the door. "Dell," she smiled. "What are you doing here?" Though she was happy, she really did wonder. She couldn't really remember a time where Dell came over and even though he didn't know she was just on the phone talking about him, she couldn't help but feel nervous paranoid that he heard. The only thing that kept her from freaking out was the fact that she was a psychiatrist and knew for a fact, that no one's hearing was that good.

He stood just a couple feet from her in a pair of jeans, a grey t-shirt and a grey sweat jacket, looking her straight in the eyes, silently with his hands shoved in his pockets. "I know I should be with Betsey right now. It's been a month since Heather died and the right thing would be for me to be there with her, but I just can't right now."

Violet crossed her arms against her chest as she looked at him, seeing by his expression that he was really thinking about something, and it was bothering him. She knew the feeling. Suddenly she understood why he was here. He needed someone to shrink him and clearly, she was the go to person.

"What is it? You aren't ready to talk about Heather?"

Quickly, he shook his head. "No, no, it's nothing like that," he told her, which threw her off a bit. "Can I try something?" He finally asked after they spent what seemed like an eternity in silence.

Shifting her weight, Violet nodded her head cautiously. "Sure," she told him, even though she had absolutely no idea what he was talking about.

Without another word, Dell held her gaze as he moved closer to her. Reaching out, he held Violet's face gently between both hands. He leaned in at the same time; the both of them closed their eyes, their lips crashing against one another's, this being that long, passionate kiss she wanted, though it blew her mind that he actually wanted the same thing.

Slowly, Violet uncrossed her arms from her chest and wrapped her arms around Dell's neck as she continued the kiss, feeling his tongue run over her bottom lip. She moaned softly as she ran her tongue over his, dancing in an exotic, yet sensual manner.

When air became too much of a necessity, they broke from the kiss, looking each other in the eyes as they caught their breath.

"I'm sorry, you've been on my mind all day," he told her, still holding her face between his hands.

"Don't apologize," she told him with a weak smile. "You've been on mine too." She admitted, pecking him softly on the lips. After kissing him once, it just felt right to keep doing it again.

Dell leaned his forehead against Violet's, kissing her again. "You're beautiful," he whispered into the kiss.

She smiled against his lips before finally realizing that she had her glasses on, her hair was a mess, she was in sweats and best of all, she had no makeup on. Instead of freaking out, she chuckled very softly. "I'm pretty much disgusting right now. No need to lie," she grinned, their lips still brushing against each other's.

"I don't care what you think. You're beautiful."

Violet took both of Dell's hands in her own, unable to keep her eyes off of his as she stepped backwards into the house, pulling him in. "You might think I'm beautiful, but let's not torture the neighbors," she teased before closing the door behind him. She wanted to open her mouth to talk, to make sense of what was happening, but before she could say anything, Dell had her in another kiss that she just couldn't come to break. It was intoxicating; just what she needed after everything that's been going on.


	4. Chapter 4

"So is there something you want to tell me?" Cooper called out, tagging behind Violet as he's been since she first came off the elevator five minutes ago.

A bunch of papers in hand, she stopped in her tracks and turned around to look up at Cooper. He was already stopped, grinning down at her.

"You know you want to tell me," he antagonized. That was the thing about Violet and Cooper. They did this to each other all the time when the other was hiding something. They knew absolutely everything about each other and when they didn't, they sought to change it.

A couple times, Violet tried to think of something to say. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. This was so complicated. How can she tell her about what happened the night before? Than again, how couldn't she? "Of course I want to tell you," she finally managed. "But it's not that easy."

"Sure it is. All you have to do is talk and don't tell me you can't do that. You do plenty of that all the time."

Violet smirked softly, turning her back to him and walking into her office. "I can't."

He knew that if he tried hard enough, he'd get it out of her. That was just the way things were with Violet. Following her into her office, he closed the door behind him. Violet looked back at him, raising a brow. Mockingly, he did the same thing. Within seconds, she had that brilliant smile on her face that let him know he cracked her. That was much easier than he thought it would be.

"Sit down," Violet ran a hand through her tight curly hair as she walked over to the couch and sat down.

He walked over to the couch and took a seat next to her. "Sit down? This is big isn't it?" he scooted closer to her and wrapped an arm around her.

"Yeah, this is pretty big," She admitted as she leaned her head on Cooper's chest. They were always very close, hanging out, joking around, and all over each other as though it was their job. No one really understood that they were just real close friends until they finally got to know them. "You remember what I was telling you about on the phone last night?"

He nodded his head. "Yeah, about that guy that you kissed, the friendly kiss that you wanted to be more."

"Yeah, that," she got comfortable, placing her feet on the coffee table, watching as Cooper did the same.

"And then there was that part where you hung up on me."

"Yeah, there was that," she smiled apologetically even though he couldn't see.

"What was that about anyway?" he asked, getting distracted as he normally did. Their stories could go in a hundred different directions before getting back on track.

"That actually has a lot to do with my story," she told him with a sigh. This was the hard part. There was no way out now. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't run. Now that she told Cooper she'd tell him what happened, and now that they were comfortable, there was no escape.

Cooper raised a brow. "Oh so what did this guy show up or something? The doorbell rang. I remember that."

She nodded her head. "Yeah, he came over."

"So he wasn't wanting just a friendly kiss either, I'm guessing by that smile you had on your face this morning?"

Violet grinned ever so softly. "He feels the same way about me apparently. He said he does and I trust him."

"Now who is this guy? I don't want you getting hurt and I need to meet this guy so we can have a good talk. I need to set in the fear, you know, shake him up a little."

She shook her head with a laugh. "You don't need to do that. He's a very reliable person Coop."

"I'll be the judge of that."

"Okay, well you might think this is very weird," she began. "But I really do like him Dell and you know I haven't had a real relationship in a while now. Pete and I almost got there, but we just couldn't. This one, I don't know where it'll go, but I do want it to go somewhere, so please, don't make fun of me."

"Who is it?" Cooper asked skeptically.

"Promise me you won't say anything."

"I can never not say anything," he pointed out sarcastically.

"It's Dell."

"Oh where?" Cooper looked out toward the hall.

Violet let out a sigh, realizing he believed for her to just be having some major ADD moment. She had them all the time, but now that she was trying to tell him something so difficult, she couldn't help but get a little frustrated.

"No, he's not out there. He's taking Betsey to school," she told him, shaking her head.

"Well you seem to know his schedule pretty well," Cooper joked, still completely unaware of the situation.

"Well yeah," she nodded her head for emphasis. "I _do _know his schedule pretty well. I wonder why."

Cooper opened his mouth to return a smart remark, but right before the words came out, he let out a gasp, doing a double take. "No!"

It finally hit him.

Violet just sat there quietly, watching Cooper. His jaw dropped practically to the ground by the fact that she hadn't corrected him.

"You and Dell?" he fought to come up with something more intelligent to say, but he failed. "No way!"

Not knowing what to make of his reaction, she settled on shock. Cooper was obviously in shock. What other explanation was there in reality? She was telling her best friend that she was falling for the man that started out as the kid guy that answered phones. No one really knew his name, and in reality, it wasn't all that long ago. Now she was telling him that she had feelings for him.

"You like him?" he asked. "You kissed him? He came over? How did this happen?"

Overwhelmed with questions, Violet tried to answer them in order. "Yes, yes, yes, and I don't know, it just kind of happened."

"But how?!" Cooper seemed so interested in knowing every little detail even though Violet can tell that he wasn't even sure how he felt about this.

"I don't know! We've always been good friends. We always got along, you know that. We have a lot in common and we've helped each other out over the years. But after the whole ordeal with Lucas, we got real close. Even closer after Heather died and it just happened. I don't know," she didn't know how to answer him because really, it did just happen.

Looking Violet in the eyes, Cooper still couldn't get that look off of his face. "This is craziness Violet."

"I know," she agreed with a simple nod of the head.

"No," he said as though Violet really didn't get what he was saying. "This is insanity."

"I know, I know, but I can't help it. I like him Cooper and you can't judge me for liking him. You're with Charlotte. Charlotte King. You remember when you hated her? When we all hated her and she was just that blonde bimbo bitch that liked to make others cry?"

"Umm ouch, she's my girlfriend."

"Yeah, but remember that?" she asked, knowing that whether he'd answer or not, he remembered. "You also have to remember that she's younger too. She's closer to Dell's age than our age."

"Yeah but it's weird. He's a guy and he's younger than you."

Violet rolled her eyes. "Are you seriously going to go all sexist on me now Coop?"

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just saying," he thought about it for a couple seconds. "You know what? That's actually kind of hot. Dell can tell his friends that he's with this older woman, ridiculously hot and successful and he'll be the man."

Covering her face with her hands, Violet let out a groan. "Thanks, that's exactly what I need to hear," she told him, a blatant hint of sarcasm to her tone.

"Oh come on," Cooper pulled her back into his arms. "I'm sorry, but seriously, you got to give me this one. I'm trying to adjust. I just never thought this would happen. Ever. Like to the point where I couldn't even imagine you two together for shits and giggles."

Violet pulled away from his grasp and stood up. "Cooper!"

"I'm sorry!" he called out yet again. Violet knew he wasn't the greatest at thinking before opening his mouth, so she tried not to get too upset, but this was a very sensitive subject for her at the moment. He looked at his watch and got up with a sigh. "You're happy?" he finally asked. She knew he had an appointment soon because it seemed like he was about to run out. Normally, he'd stay and they'd talk everything out.

"Cooper, I don't even know what's going to happen," she could tell that he wanted a yes or no answer, so with a sigh, she nodded her head. "Yes, I'm happy."

"Okay, then I'm happy. Weirded out, but happy."

"You just killed what was almost a beautiful moment."

Cooper was about to shoot back with a sarcastic remark when the door opened. They both looked over to find Dell.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Dell asked as he stood in the doorway.

"Oh no," Cooper shook his head. "Apparently I am," he teased.

Violet shot him a death glare.

"I have an appointment, I'll talk to you later Vi," he said before turning his back to her and walking over to the door as Dell stepped in. Cooper stopped in front of him and patted him on the shoulder. "Good going man," and with that, he walked out the door, pulling it closed behind him.

Violet and Dell exchanged grins before finally, Dell spoke up.

"He knows, doesn't he?"

She nodded her head. "Yeah, pulled it out of me."

"You don't need to explain yourself," he told her as he walked over to her. "He's your best friend and I don't care who knows."

"You don't?" she couldn't hide the fact that she was surprised.

"This won't be real if no one knows, right?"

A smile pulled from her lips as she nodded her head. "You're looking for something real?"

Dell reached out and took both of Violet's hands in his, swaying them playfully. "Violet, I wouldn't do anything with you if I just wanted to mess around. I am looking for something real. Is that okay?" he asked, from what Violet noted, was a bit nervously.

"It's more than okay," she assured him. "I want this too."

He leaned in to kiss her. Violet returned it, completely unaware of her surroundings.

"Hey Violet, can I- wow."

Breaking from the kiss, Violet looked over to find Addison standing in the doorway with a file in her hand, dumbstruck.

"Violet, Dell, what's going on?"

Trying to think of an excuse to come up with, Violet realized she was still holding hands with Dell. She was about to pull away from him until she realized how bad that would be. They just told each other that they wanted to be together and have something real. They just took two steps forward, and that would have been five back.

"Addison," she finally spoke up. She pulled one hand away from Dell, though she still held the other one to let him know that she wasn't going to run. He just told her that he was okay with people knowing, so she wanted to be okay with it too for him. "Dell and I are together now," she blurted out. "It just happened, so it's not like I've been keeping anything from you. I was going to tell you another way, but it looks like I don't have to. Just you and Cooper know, so please, don't tell anyone yet."

Hearing a forced cough, Violet looked passed Addison to find Sam, Naomi, Charlotte and Cooper in the hall watching. Either Cooper ran and told Charlotte and everyone else overheard, or they could have heard Violet's big mouth.

Letting out a gasp, Violet realized there was only one person that didn't know now. Pete.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey babe, do you think it's weird that everyone knows and no one's killed us yet?" Violet asked as she sat on the couch of her office with Dell right next to her, hand in hand.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, but I do know that you just called me 'babe' and it was adorable." Dell squeezed her hand as he flashed a big smile over at Violet.

Seeing his smile, she couldn't help but return it, giggling softly. "Did I really?" she asked, not even realizing she called him 'babe,' but he obviously wouldn't make that up. "Wow that just kind of slipped."

"Well you can slip whenever you like because as I said, it was adorable."

"I'll keep that in mind." Violet told him, her voice soft as she leaned her head on his shoulder. "Babe." She added teasingly, a slight grin pulling from her lips. It was odd how she found herself so comfortable around Dell. They've known each other for years have been pretty close, but after the first kiss, Violet was scared that he wouldn't want to be around her anymore and the idea killed her at first because they've gotten much closer than before. Now they were together and normally when Violet started seeing someone, she felt the need to shield herself to keep from getting hurt. There was also the constant need to act differently; almost to the point where she was a different person.

The funny thing was that she didn't feel the need to shield herself. In all the time she's known Dell, he never struck her as the screw over type. He was always very caring and in tune with other people's feelings. He went out of his way to put a smile on a person's face. He had so many redeeming qualities that she couldn't even think of a single bad one. It wasn't even because she was falling for him, because she was able to pick out the bad things about Alan when she was with him, and the bad things about Pete, which completely scared her out of having a relationship with him at first.

That was natural for Violet though. Before diving into anything, she thought of all the possible outcomes and usually turned her back on opportunity before there was a chance of her getting hurt. It wasn't just with Alan and Pete. It was with every guy that's ever crossed her path. With Dell it was already proving to be a different situation. She wanted him and she wanted to let him in in a way that she hadn't with anyone else before. She was able to be herself and even though it seemed like everyone was going to have a problem with this, especially Pete, she couldn't help but be happy anyway. She wasn't going to let anyone outside of this relationship influence it. The fact that she was already telling herself this reminded Violet how much she liked Dell. Weird.

"You're so cute." He told her softly with a grin as he ran a hand through her hair. Violet looked up at him, a smile on her face.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Eh, I'm not all that cute. You're cuter."

"Oh yeah? That's what you think?" he asked in a serious tone, though she knew for a fact that he was joking around.

"That's what I know." She saw that he was about to fight back, but before he could, she leaned in and pressed a kiss against his lips. She smiled against it as she felt him return it passionately.

Finally when a desperate need of air called for it; the two broke from the kiss. Dell looked into her eyes, breathless. "Not fair."

Violet smirked. "Never said I play fair." She chuckled softly. "You're just going to have to learn to keep up with me babe."

"God it's so cute when you call me that." Dell smirked. "And in that case, I guess I'll just have to learn to keep up. This can be fun."

"Lots of fun." She agreed.

"So I'm kind of amazed no one told Pete yet."

Violet nodded her head. "I was just thinking the same thing."

"Oh my god no way!" Dell teased, exchanging smirks with Violet before becoming more serious. "No but seriously, I was sure that by now he'd be up here kicking my ass."

"Don't say that." Violet scooted closer to Dell, placing a kiss on his cheek. "I don't want to imagine anyone hurting you. If he lays a hand on you, I swear I'll kill him." She told him with such a certainty that she noticed the shock on Dell's face. "I'm serious. I don't even want him to touch you. Why do men have to solve everything through fist fights anyway?"

"Well because he wants to be with you. I don't blame him I mean come on Violet, you're pretty amazing." He could tell by the look on her face that she was amazed just to hear him say such a thing, which he had to point out. "And I can tell how much that surprises you, which surprises me."

She raised a brow questionably. "Well yeah I'm surprised. I mean maybe I'm amazing. Maybe way deep down inside behind all the crazy-"

"Stop saying that." He cut her off as he reached up, taking Violet's face gently between both hands. "I don't want to hear you call yourself crazy because you're not. You've had some terrible things happen to you and if you ask me, I think you're handling them pretty well."

"I'm a mess Dell."

"You might see it that way, but take it from someone on the outside looking in; you're doing fine. And I don't want to hear anything different because despite what you think, I know that you're doing just fine. And I know you're worried about something happening to you again, but you don't have to anymore. I'm here. I'm with you now and I won't let anyone hurt you. No one will even touch you Violet and I'll make sure of that, okay?" He placed a kiss on her forehead. "You're my girl and I want you to know how important you are. It kills me to know that you don't understand just how beautiful you are. And I'm not just talking about looks, but damn it, you're gorgeous Violet, but on the inside too. You're such a beautiful person."

Violet was in awe with the way Dell spoke to her and told her how she was this great person and how he really believed that she was this beautiful person. Better yet, she believed that he meant every word he was saying. "Say it again." She finally said, stuck on one thing above everything else.

He looked at her, confused. "Say what?"

"That I'm your girl." She smiled. "Tell me again."

Dell's expression softened. "You're my girl."

"I am."

Dell leaned in, kissing Violet softly.

The door opened, which the both of them ignored at first until they heard a voice. "What's going on?" It was Pete.

Quickly, the both broke from the kiss and before Dell even had the chance to move, Violet was up on her feet. "Pete, before you do anything, let me explain." She paused for a minute and when Pete gave her a look that screamed 'talk now,' she didn't waste another moment. "It just happened. Me and Dell, we never planned to have feelings for each other. We've just gotten real close after everything that's happened to the both of us. Me getting gutted like a pig and Dell…" she looked over her shoulder to find that Dell was now standing behind her, ready to defend her if she needed it. "Dell lost Heather and almost Betsy in a terrible way. We both lost something and we're both wounded one way or another we just related. We got close and we started to have feelings for each other. Don't be mad Pete."

"Wow." Pete shook his head, a small grin pulling from his lips. "Remember when you slept Addison's father?" he asked in a flat tone. Violet looked to the ground, not knowing what else to do considering how awkward she felt at the moment. "I just thought 'okay, cry for help,' now I'm wondering if you just liked that he was really old. Older than your own father-"

"Pete-" Dell tried to stop him, but Pete kept going.

"And now I realize that you like little boys too. Awesome."

"It's not like that Pete." Violet told him through gritted teeth. "Dell is a grown man by the way. Yeah, there's a bit of a gap, but nothing too drastic. Don't act like this because you didn't get your way."

"It's not because I didn't get my way." He told her with a laugh. "It's because this kid did."

Violet went to speak, but no words came out.

Seeing this, Dell stepped in front of Violet. "Knock it off Pete."

"And what if I don't? You'll tell your girlfriend on me?"

Without an ounce of control, Violet felt a tear fall down her cheek. Dell looked back at her just as she let go and more tears trailed down without any sense of self control.

"Get out of here." Dell told Pete as he turned his body to Violet and wrapped his arms around her. He looked over to find that Pete was still there. "I said go."

"Nice excuse to get out of a fight." Pete spat out at him. "Just like a child." With that, he turned around and walked out of the room.

"Hey Violet," Dell began to wipe her tears away with his thumb. "Don't cry."

She looked up at him with swollen eyes. "Why didn't you hit him?" She asked curiously as Dell wiped her tears away. "It's what guys do."

He nodded his head. "When we want to prove we're stronger for our own pride, yeah, we do. But I don't care about myself right now. I care about you, you're my girlfriend and you're upset. I just want to make you feel better."

Violet couldn't help but smile, reaching up and taking Dell's hand in her own. "You're more of a man than Pete will ever be. Thank you."

Dell shrugged his shoulders, returning the smile. "Anything for my girl."


	6. Chapter 6

Lying on her back, Violet looked over at Dell who was sitting on the floor next to her, a smile pulling from her lips. "Come here." She reached out and took a gentle hold of the collar of Dell's shirt and slowly pulled him toward her. He got up from the ground and climbed up on the couch, on top of Violet.

Looking into his eyes, Violet could tell that he was thinking about something. It actually looked like he was worried about something. "What is it?" she asked softly, reaching up and running a hand through his hair.

He placed a hand on Violet's stomach, tracing random shapes with a finger. "I don't want to hurt you."

Raising a brow, Violet wondered what that meant. Was he telling her that this wasn't going to work? Was he going to leave?

"No, not like that." He told her quickly as though he read her mind. "I'm not leaving you Violet; you never have to worry about that. I'm worried about physically hurting you. You're so fragile." As he ran his finger over her stomach, through the thin fabric of her shirt, he could feel the risen skin of her scars.

Although she was tired of people treating her like she was incapable, this was different. He was the first person to really treat Violet for who she was and not who he thought she became after the accident. He was worried of physically hurting her because she's been so close to death before that she couldn't come to get mad at him. Just by looking in his eyes, she could see that he genuinely cared and that made her feel safe with her decision to be with him. She's been with so many people in the past but something about Dell made her feel safe.

"You're not going to hurt me." She tried to assure him as she put her hand over Dell's, slipping it under her shirt to run it over her scars. Normally she couldn't even bare to look at them or feel them for that matter, but she was trying to make a point, to make Dell comfortable. "It doesn't hurt."

He watched as Violet guided his hand over the scars, looking up at her when he heard her say that it didn't hurt. He looked in her eyes and when he realized she wasn't lying, he looked back down at her stomach, using his other hand to lift her shirt a little to get a look at the scars, which were red, a tint of purple around them.

"Violet, are you taking care of them?" He asked, his voice almost a whisper. He pressed down a little harder, then looked up at Violet to find her biting her lip, wincing in pain. "I'm sorry." He said quickly. "I feel like a jerk now."

She shook her head. "Don't, you're not a jerk." She looked up at him, just seeing in his eyes that he honestly felt like he hurt her and there was guilt. "It's not your fault I haven't cleaned them like I should have been all these months."

"So you haven't been cleaning them?" Dell moved down her body. "That's changing now. I'll make you better." He brought his lips to her stomach, trailing kisses along the scars.

Feeling Dell's lips against her skin, Violet closed her eyes, completely relaxed. She couldn't remember a time since the attack when she was anywhere close to calm. Dell comes right along and makes all these changes in her life in a fraction of a second and she was okay with it. Change used to freak her out, but she just couldn't find a reason to be scared. Sure, she and Dell being together was something no one expected and there was the age difference and the fact that they both had children, but Violet was more than willing to work things out.

A smile on her face, Violet watched as Dell kissed her stomach. "You're already making me better." She told him with such an honesty that Dell looked up at her with a smile that made her heart melt for him right on the spot.

Without a word, he moved up, hovering over Violet's body, placing kisses along her body until finally, they were eye level. They just stared one another in the eyes for a while, content as they got lost in their own little worlds.

Just by the look on Dell's face, Violet could tell that he wanted to tell her that she was making him better too, but the words just wouldn't come out. She wanted to tell him that she understood completely, and that was the part that really got her. She believed him. She really did believe that she was important to him and that was a feeling Violet never really had. She always felt like other people were important to them whether it were as family, friends, or anything else, but she never actually felt like the feelings were returned, the only exception being Cooper. This was different though. Violet never imagined she would feel this way about a boyfriend.

Unable to speak, she felt like there was a need to stay silent. Words could kill the moment and she didn't want that; neither of them did. Instead of talking, she lifted her head off the pillow, her lips meeting his. Yet again she was reminded of how perfect it felt to kiss him.

"Violet." Dell whispered against her lips. When she looked him in the eyes, he knew she was listening and continued. "I want to tell Betsey about us."

The idea of a child becoming a part of her new relationship didn't bother her. She already knew Dell's daughter, though now she was going to have to get a lot closer to her. Not only did she have to, but she wanted to. "Okay, you can tell her anything you want Dell. I don't want her to be out in the dark. She deserves to know." The most of this that bothered her was that she anticipated seeing Dell's child more than she anticipated seeing her own. She still lived with that fear of even looking at him.

Dell kissed her again. "You really are okay with this? Because what I feel for you is real Violet, and I know what you feel is real. I know it just by that look in your eyes. I've never seen you like this and it's the most amazing feeling to know that I'm the reason you're like this. But it can't be real until my daughter knows."

Violet nodded her head gently, a smile finding its way on her face. She hasn't smiled this much since before her attack and she could tell how special it was to Dell that he was the one to change that. It meant a lot to her as well. He was the man that she knew all along, yet least expected to be the one to sweep her off of her feet. "Betsey needs to know and better yet, I want her to know. I want her to able to be comfortable around me. And Dell, this is real, so she needs to be a part of this and I want her to."

"You really are amazing." He whispered softly as he looked down at her. "Believe it or not she's been telling me to date. I thought she'd want me to wait after what happened to Heather, but I think she understands that apart from everything that happened, Heather and I weren't meant to be together."

"She knows." Violet agreed, offering him a nod. "She's a very smart girl and she loves you. She wants to see you happy, just like I do."

"Well then it looks like I have the two most amazing girls in my life." He smiled softly. Once Violet returned the smile, his grew bigger. "Seriously though, I mean it, and I do think Betsey will enjoy that I'm with you."

The brunette smiled, pulling Dell to lie beside her as she leaned on her side, resting her head on Dell's chest. "I want to just be her father's girlfriend. I want to be a part of her life too, if that's okay with you." She glanced up at him and he had such an honest and genuine smile on his face that she knew he loved the idea of it. "I know it's crazy though because I can't even look at my own son, but I can be good with Betsey, I promise."

"You don't need to try to prove yourself with her, I do trust you." He kissed the top of her head as he wrapped his arms around her small frame. "You not being able to be around Lucas is a different story and in time, you'll be able to face him and you'll be an amazing mother."

"You really think so?"

"I know so."

Without another word, Violet put her head back on Dell's chest, listening to his steady heart beating, feeling the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. Once again, silence was golden.


End file.
